Today was weirder than usual, I felt really far gone. Lately I’ve been out of it but more today than any other day. I’ve been getting worse and honestly feel as if I’m truly going crazy, I know it’s the postpartum. Taking any antidepressants is definitely out of the question, I’ve been there done that it’s not for me. The only thing I know that would really help is smoking bud again but that’s not for another month. Unless, of course my milk dries up which I’m honestly hoping for and looks like it will be very close. I really hope to get out of this funk soon it sucks feeling so hopeless and sad, like high school all over again minus the cutting and other self harm. Just got to keep pushing one more month then things will get better.

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