I got closer to this friend than I should of.

Made a huge mistake and took it to an area it didnt need to go.

I let one of my roam demons roam freely for a bit. Its caged back up and Im left with much disgust for myself as usual.

Couldn’t hold in this ugly secret and let it out. Told my sister and my man losing so much respect, from myself as well.

Its things like this that prove all the bad i say about myself is true

I am filth

I am disgusting 

I am ugly inside and out

I really wish I didnt do all this. It was a good friendship and helped so much before I crossed the line. 

The main one hurt is my love, he’s so good to me and still is even after this. 

I dont deserve him.

What to do now?

This darkness is where Ill stay till I figure something out.