Melancholy Doll

The darkest part of my mind


September 2016

Appearance in need of improvement

Been really improving on my make up, which makes me so freakin happy! But my style and everything else has been SLACKING. I’ve never really been all that Stylish when it comes to hair or outfits. Hair more than clothes, I cant do shit right with my hair but my outfits are hit or miss.

Thats all gonna change

Learning to do more with my hair

And my wardrobe is improving 

Along with more weight loss and better makeup skills I will be much more confident.  


Taking a good look 

Need to keep progressing  on this journey of self improvement.
I know where to go now 

The question is how? 

I have to  Hike this mountain of mine and take a good look at my city.

See the dilapidation 

Figure out how to build something stronger 

I wont fall off here 

This can be beat

Just not looking forward to these battles 

Its going to get ugly. 

Little by little 

Definitely in the process of fixing everything and rebuilding 

The spark is still there I see it 

I cant lose this, lose him.

He’s so  Passionate about our love 

About keeping it alive 

I cant let that slip away 

He is my soul mate 

He keeps me grounded 

So understanding and forgiving 

Definitely a rarity 

This flaw 

Recently Ive been really trying to figure out whats wrong with me. 
Im tired of being soft as a cotton

So emotional so  Fragile

So unstable

Crazy one minute and blank the next 

If I dont progress more I think I’m going to lose it.

I feel so strongly about everything it ridiculous and will be my downfall 

Day off 

Today wasnt bad at all 
Went to my brother’s with my loves and watched movies while I got laundry done, folded and everything.

Also got one of our major bills paid off, just two more left. 

The baby finally has a high chair as well and spoons. Our little house is coming together, slowly but surely.

Its consuming

I feel like Im really loosing my mind

Im happy with my love but I dont show him 

He’s as  Perplexed as I am with all thats been going on 

We’re left with no words in this chaos

I’m dragging him through this darkness 

Its consuming him

My poor love 

I’m troubled and he still loves me 

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